Ho, Ho, Ho, Hell!
by KaibaGirl17
Summary: t's Christmas and Nappa is left to babysit Vegeta. So, the bald Saiyan tells of Santa Claus. How will this play out? Rated T for mild Vegeta Violence. One-Shot. AU.


A/N: Well, here is a little one-shot I thought of for Christmas. I decided to redo this. Let me know what you guys think of it. Merry Christmas, everybody!

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or any of the characters, Akira Toriyama does.

...

Five-year-old Prince Vegeta sat in his room, staring out the window, watching the snow fly around through the air. The small white flakes puzzled the prince, as they had not existed on the desert planet Vegeta-Sei.

"Vegeta, you should get to bed soon," his guardian, Nappa, said.

"Father says I don't have a bedtime," Vegeta said defiantly, crossing his arms.

Nappa sighed in frustration. It seemed King Vegeta was the only one who the Saiyan prince listened to, besides Zorn. And unfortunately for Nappa, the Saiyan king was off hunting, as was Zorn, and Nappa had been left to watch the troublesome little demon that was the Prince of All Saiyans.

But, oh how Nappa had tried to get out of it.

(Flashback)

"Nappa, I'm going to need you to watch Vegeta," King Vegeta told the former Saiyan general.

"Why can't Zorn do it?" Nappa asked, nodding at the other Saiyan.

"Because he's going with me," King Vegeta answered.

"Also, you're to dress up like this Santa Claus so the prince will keep himself out of trouble," Zorn added as he entered the room.

"Like that's gonna keep the little imp out of trouble," the balding Saiyan murmured under his breath.

"What was that?" King Vegeta glared at him.

"Nothing," Nappa said quickly.

"I thought so. Anyway, he's to be in bed asleep by the time we return or you'll regret it," King Vegeta growled.

Nappa said nothing. He knew the Saiyan king never made a threat he didn't follow up on.

"Dressing up like Santa Claus, I'm pretty sure that wasn't in my job description," Nappa said.

"Actually, yes it is," King Vegeta replied.

"You didn't read the fine print, did you?" Zorn asked, pulling out a slip of paper. "I have a copy of your contract right here."

"How'd you get that?" Nappa demanded, reaching for the paper.

"Access to these things is in _MY_ job description," Zorn answered coolly, pulling the paper just out of Nappa's reach and placing it into the front of his armor.

Nappa tried to protest, but Zorn and King Vegeta were all ready halfway out the door.

"Why does everything always happen to me?" Nappa groaned.

(Flashback ends)

Nappa grumbled to himself as he headed up the stairs to Vegeta's bedroom to get the prince to go to bed.

...

"But I don't wanna go to bed yet!" Vegeta snapped. "I'm not sleepy!"

"You're going, if I have to tie you to the bed!" Nappa shot back.

Vegeta backed up, a look of shock on his face, but soon the look faded into a smirk.

"I'm sure Father will be pleased to know that you threaten me behind his back," the Saiyan prince leered.

"That's not a threat, it's a promise," Nappa mumbled.

"No wonder the other Saiyan Elites think you're getting old and losing your touch, considering you mumble when you speak!" Vegeta sniffed.

"Who says I'm getting old?!" Nappa demanded. "I'll rip their tails off!"

"You're going to rip everyone's tails off?" Vegeta mocked. "That should be a sight to see. And I can only imagine Father's reaction when you _try_ to take **_his_** tail."

'_This brat's gonna be the death of me!'_ Nappa cursed inwardly as he lowered his gaze to the floor.

"Prince Vegeta, some Santa Claus is gonna be coming by and he leaves stuff for kids, but only when they're sleeping", he explained.

Vegeta eyed his guardian with expectation.

"Okay," the prince said.

"So, if you go to bed, he'll leave something for you," Nappa finished. '_At this rate, all the brat'd get is a lump of coal,_' he added to himself.

...

Later that night, Vegeta was awakened by a loud _thump!_

The Saiyan prince sat up in bed. Maybe Nappa had been right! Santa Claus had come. Vegeta didn't know what was more unbelievable, Santa Claus really showing up, or the fact that Nappa had actually been right about something!

Ever so quietly, Vegeta crept down the stairs and saw a large, bulky man in a red coat and hat with white hair and a white beard. It was Santa Claus!

But then, he saw the man reach for a a glass of milk and a plate of cookies sitting on the table in the living room. The five-year-old Prince of All Saiyans was insulted. Those were HIS cookies!

"GET AWAY FROM MY COOKIES, FAT MAN!" Vegeta shouted, flying at Santa.

Santa spun around.

"What the-?" Jolly Saint Nick never finished his sentence, because Vegeta headbutted him in the stomach.

Santa staggered back.

"Naughty kids don't get presents!" he warned.

"And naughty fat men don't take a prince's cookies!" Vegeta retorted, jumping on Santa's back.

"They were supposed to be for me!" Santa cried out. "Everyone knows you leave milk and cookies out for Santa!"

"I didn't agree to leaving any cookies for some greedy oaf who breaks into people's houses!" Vegeta snarled. "You didn't even bring me any presents! And you drank my milk too?! **HOW DARE YOU!**"

The five-year-old Saiyan reached for the unused candle holder on the table and began hitting Santa in the head with it.

"Stop it! STOP IT! STOP! STOP! STOP IT!" Santa shouted.

Vegeta kicked the fat man in the back and continued to beat him with the candle holder.

"It's Christmas!" Santa howled desperately. "Have a heart! Show some mercy!"

"**MERCY IS FOR THE WEAK!**" Vegeta shot back.

...Fifteen minutes of torture later...

Vegeta grabbed Santa's beard and yanked it off.

"NAPPA?" the small Saiyan shrieked.

"Oh, sure, NOW you yank off the beard!" Nappa groaned, rubbing his bruised head.

"Don't ever do that again," Vegeta snapped before heading up the stairs to his room.

"I'm tired, so I'm going to bed, and I'd better not hear a peep from you Nappa!" Vegeta shouted.

Nappa made his way to the couch. Tonight had been pure HELL on him. Sure, he'd gotten Vegeta to go to bed, but only after he'd received a beating from the prince. Some Christmas present.

Suddenly, the door opened and in walked King Vegeta and Zorn.

"So, did you get my son to go to bed?" King Vegeta asked.

Nappa nodded, still rubbing his head.

"Good," the Saiyan King nodded and headed upstairs.

Zorn bent down and picked up a red hat with a white cotton ball at the end off of the floor and put it on his head.

"How'd it go, SANTA?" he teased. "Ho, Ho, Ho."

"Ho, Ho, Ho, Hell!" Nappa snapped.

...

...

So, what'd you guys think of it? Let me know. Flames will be used to roast weenies.

Review =)


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